Another semester, another birthday, another Christmas, gone already. I think this has been one of the most relaxing holidays yet. The stars seem to be aligned. Mom and I have given up on being women who do too much. (Yes, there is indeed a copy of that book somewhere in our house, mock if you wish.) I finished my course work on time, and appear to have passed everything. I had my shopping and wrapping done ahead of time. I got to visit with Grandmother, and although she was confused, at least she knew she was confused. Mom and I spent Christmas day at Mur's and Sarah's grown up so much she's lost all those annoying child like qualities (almost). Today followed the same laid back trend; we spent the afternoon at Cedar's, saw C.R.A.Z.Y., and spent the evening at Brennan's/The Kier Gallery checking out the current art show and listening to Jon Connolly. Tomorrow is sounding like it could be one spent at home hiding from a storm...I don't think I'd mind that a bit.

So this is it. I just finished writing my Non-Destructive Testing take-home exam. Okay, so it's almost it; I'm going to take the bus home tomorrow at lunch and edit it on the way. I should be home around 4:30 PM. We'll see...

What is it with me and stemware? I just broke a cocktail glass...and I'm not even drinking! So now I'm sitting at my desk surrounded by shards of glass trying to convince myself to get up and get the vacuum. This all started because I was too lazy to get up and knocked the glass down reaching for something else.

I'm going to be a follower and actually post this:

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

And yes, this applies especially to those who don't always comment.

BTW: If you select "other" you can enter your name without having a Blogger account.

Sometimes I lay thinking about things I would like to say allowed but, knowing they would be downright inappropriate, keep them to myself. Sometimes they are stressful thoughts about things I was supposed to have finished and haven't even looked at. Sometimes they are depressing thoughts that would hurt those around me. Then, sometimes they are exciting thoughts that make me giggle to myself. Seeing as this is not anonymous and I have already said I would keep these thoughts to myself, I am not telling you what they are. What I wonder is what kind of thoughts are most often guilty for keeping you awake at night?

This has likely been the most challenging year of my short life.

I always believed that we are strong and can do anything we put our minds to. I preach this to those around me that I love so dearly. We never do practice what we preach. The most confusing of all is figuring out what it is that you want enough to put your mind to.

In highschool I tried to figure out what it was that I found interesting enough to pursue in university. I did those aptitude tests telling me that I should be an architect or engineer. Well here I am, in engineering. It began that way because it allowed me to make the least number of decisions. At that point in my life the only thing I knew was that I did not want to do an arts degree. What was it that drove me so far away from the arts? It's ironic in my opinion, seeing how much admiration I have for the arts. I continued on the path of least resistance, the path that would give me the most options in the future, avoiding ever having to make a real decision.

I fell in love, hard and fast. This education I was getting became a vehicle to get a career that would support our love. One that would pay our debts, one that would build our house, one that would clothe our children. I was allowed to forget about that requirement that I need be happy in my career; I thought all the happiness I would need would be found in my home.

I broke that home. It didn't matter that I was happy and surrounded by love. In that home I had forgotten that we all need our autonomy. Nothing could have prevented me from forgetting that. It was a lesson that needed to be learned, that for me could only come from experience. Love crumbled and fell, slowly and painfully.

I've spent my life watching people in pain, wondering how it was possible for them to find life so hard. I've spent my life wondering how depression can consume you, wondering how alcoholism can take hold of you, wondering how sadness can overpower you. I've spent this year sinking to the bottom. Part of the time I was supported by love I didn't even know existed. Love I'm gracious for now that the time has passed.

This year I've spent nights home alone drinking bottles of wine by myself. I've spent nights crying until the sun came up. I've spent days in bed as deadlines passed me by and I missed class after class and meeting after meeting. It wasn't that I was without love, it was that I was without dreams.

I've got the beauty, brains, and balls to do what ever the hell I want. It's time to do a little soul searching and figure out what that is. I'm ready to dream.

Big ups to Sharon for being a very cool host! (Yes Chris, you get credit too.) I will sooo use my "holiday" tree eraser for exams.

You know how sometimes I get totally sidetracked? Well that's me, right now. I'm sitting here at one in the morning surrounded by rice cake crumbs, bidding on lipstick on ebay, when I need to finish writing part of our report. Shoot me now!

Another infomative message from PK:

Dryer Filters Need Cleaning!

Subject: dryer filter cleaning@!!

A house just burned down on Cape Island last week and they say it started with the dryer! Then I got this email. I tried it too and it was the same thing...the water pooled on top of the filter. So read on to find out what I'm talking about.

Subject: Filter Cleaning--not a joke
A friend sent this to me. I thought it might be helpful.

I had a wonderful morning; the heating unit went out on my dryer! Why does everything seem to fall apart this time of year! ??? The guy that fixes things went in to the dryer pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. We always clean the lint from the filter after every load of clothes.

He told us that he wanted to show us something. He took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. Now, the lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like.

WELL......the hot water just sat on top of the mesh!!! It didn't go through it at all!!!

He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that???!!!!

Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share!

Note: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it.
The water ran thru a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen.

I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & I had it done in
30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!

More from our adventures in New York

Sunday afternoon we got a chance to head into Manhattan, so we took the Long Island Rail Road into the city and wandered 5th Avenue, then headed to Greenwich Village for supper.

Kierpaso in the Empire State Building.

Me in front of a very Christmassy Macy's.

The season was even evident inside Saks.

Rockefeller Center, pre-tree-lighting.

Dad and I peeked our heads inside St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Stopped for a pricey beer at the Trump Bar, in the Trump Tower.

Dinner at Ciao on the corner of Bleecker and MacDougall.

Jimmy and I waiting at Penn Station for the train back to Long Island.

On the way home we took a drive by Grandmother's old house at 81 Pine Street, Garden City, NY.

I satiated myself with shopping therapy this weekend. The list is long, too long:

• Grey Tommy Hilfiger skirt suit - retail: $360, Winner's price: $76
• Chocolate brown knee length a-line suede skirt - sale price $15.99
• Theraband
• Christmas cards
• Ink
• Eyeshadow
• Secret Christmas gifts

...and the list goes on.