Update on the insanity:

• valve vibration demo failed miserably.
• weigh scale worked perfectly on the first try.
• design was handed in, but not up to par.

Corners were cut this semester, I can only accept what I have gotten done, and be more organized in the future. I put more effort into school this semester than I have in awhile. I need only to keep it up for four more days. (Really two weeks if you count exams.)

Yay lightening storm...we lost power for all of 15 seconds, but it took a good, and I mean good hour to get the internet back...email server's still down, but it's time for me to go to bed before I keel over.

It's that wonderful time of year again...my apologies for dissapearing off the face of the earth. Countdown is on: 7 days of class remain. Last night B and I pretended that we didn't have any work to do and sat back and watched a movie...we were celebrating - 2 years - eeeek! How school girl of me - puke. Might I point out that "last night" started at 9PM. Back to work. I'll come up for air in a week and a half, then it's back under for exams.

A little inspiration.

Some spiritual thoughts at the end of a technical day. It's starting to get to me...

Today's not quite as successful as yesterday was, but things are getting accomplished. It's all about how focused the "team" can be, rather that solely how focused I am, and quite frankly I'm not usually the most focused.

I was remarkably effective at getting things accomplished today. We slept until 12:30, and I still managed to get two assignments done. Let's see if I can do just as well tomorrow. I think I'm going to quit now, while I'm ahead, and go watch a movie with B.

Lexa = Failure

All semester I've been handing things in on time. So far this week I've not handed in one assignment, and I'll be handing a lab report in late. On top of that, I just realised that I have a midterm tomorrow...in the class that I didn't do this week's assignment...meaning I should be studying, but I have to do the godforsaken lab report.

I knew it was coming, just not so soon. Today was the day that the good folks at microsoft decided to cut off pop access to hotmail. I think I may be abandoning my account...I haven't fully decided yet. In either case, I recommend contacting me at my unb address as that is a lifetime account. What are your thoughts on this predicament?

Can I be a big girl tonight and stay focused all by myself? I found myself acting this afternoon as I had in elementary school: distracted and unable to focus on the task at hand. B has a midterm tonight, so I'll be all by my lonesome. I have to get a lab report written from start to finish. Bets on whether I can do it?

Back on track baby. I just finished thermo and I can't wait to crawl into bed. This whole distracted thing isn't good, but I just have to keep fighting it. It's one of those anywhere but here feelings; I don't care if it's back three or four years to when things were fun and games, or ahead five or six years to when I'm on maternity leave, I just want the work to go away. I need to look ahead, but realise that to get there I have to get through what's on my plate right now. One step at a time...

• get degree
• get job
• get married
• get house
• get kid

...not that I've been thinking about it.

I stole this in my internet wandering tonight:

Your desires and your dreams are two very different things, once you find the seemingly invisible line between them...you'll uncover a truth about yourself that you may not have expected.You have a choice,choose your dream. -amila

And with that I should get back to work, or I'll never achieve my dream.

I'm beginning to feel relieved. The day started out wickedly (as in wicked witch, not wicked good) and didn't get better too quickly. Now that the bulk of it is over I feel much better. I decided to forgo one assignment, as it was making me feel ill thinking about how late it would be, and when I checked I realised it was only worth a smidge. I got most of my other assignment done. That leaves me with just Thermo that I have to finish tonight. I intend on getting that done, and getting some rest so I can get going early tomorrow. It's that time of year when stress is at it's peak, and I don't want it to get the best of me. Three more weeks to go. (Not counting exams.)

What a weekend. B and I went home, and it was great. My lab was cancelled on Wednesday afternoon, so we got to take off early. I was also informed on Wednesday afternoon, that Ang and Joe had made a change of plans and would be coming home too. We managed to squeeze in a little of everything this weekend.

We got home Wednesday night and visited Mom, Annette, and Dad. Then we went and met Ang, Joe, Nick and a couple of others at China Garden, surprise, surprise. Thursday we were good little children and went to the cenotaph for the rememberance day ceremony. I got into the Christmas spirit in the afternoon, and went to the craft fair at the civic center with the girls. Then Dad and I headed to the hospital to visit Grandmother, she's having heart troubles. We ran into Corey's mom Wilma and had a grand old conversation. In the midst of this activity I made a birthday cake for Ang; unfortunately unaware until we cut into it, it fell. Bah. I've never had a cake fall. B, Marcus, Ang, Joe and I all piled in the car and Mom drove us to Moron's for the traditional evening of trivia. It was dead! I had thought there would be a decent number of people out, I was wrong. Friday was all about shopping with the girls, and finished off with a big turkey dinner at Annette's...which Mom also attended, oddly enough Jamie and Nicole's baby Jensen was also there, Jacenta's friend was babysitting him. Saturday it was Mom's turn for the big shopping spree, which was spent solely at Winner's. Mur made us lasagna for supper by my request, it was delish. We took the weather lady's advice and rented a movie that night which we watched with Jon and Carrie. Today Mom fed us roast pork and shipped us off.

I don't have a whole lot to show for all the shopping. I did make some staple purchases however. I came home with two practical purses, one spring/summer, one fall/winter. I also picked up a great holiday shirt - burgundy sequined tank top. Most importantly I came up with a bunch of ideas for Christmas gifts.

Now I have to convince myself to get all my work done; just thinking about it is exhausting me. I got a good bit of sleep this weekend, but did little to no work.

This weekend is shaping up to be marvelous. It has the potential to relieve all of my stress. So far I have had a lab cancelled this afternoon, and I was also informed that my best girls are coming home for the weekend too. Yipee! Off we go to Tokyo (aka Ch'town).

Finally, for the first time in awhile, not only do I feel accomplished, but intelligent at the same time. I finished an assignment on my own, that was about 20 pages, and I think I've done it mostly right. An assignment, that when eating my lunch today didn't even know was due. As far as I was concerned it wasn't due until next Wednesday, luckily for me I didn't have anything else left to do tonight. This does however mean we have a lab tomorrow, further delaying our departure time. I just want to go home and crawl into our nice king size flannelette sheets.

Gawd. I'm 21 and I'm still having a heck of a time with school, and staying focused and on topic. If there are any distractions, I just don't seem to be able to get things done. I do have some control, it's not like when I was a kid, and couldn't stay focused for five minutes. These days when I get in the groove I'm fine; the challenge is being able to get in the groove. I'm going home tomorrow afternoon, that's been helpful. I feel like I'm going to keel over and die at the moment, I can't wait to get home. I need more sleep.

So my productivity hasn't quite been up to snuff, but I've regained my determination. One more month, I just have to last one more month. Right?

Oh the insanity. So far still on task. Just getting ready to go back to the library. There managed to be something I missed on that list, so part of tonight will be dedicated to writing a progress report for our measurements project.

Who me, wasting more time? Well, I did get my thermo assignment done, so I do feel a little better. The vibrations assignment on the other hand went horribly. I got overly frustrated with it and gave up for tonight. The week should pan out alright. I just need to keep reminding myself of everything I have to get done. Tomorrow afternoon is set aside for group work on the measurements project, then I have to meet Brent after supper to put together a little presentation for vibrations, and I have to finish up the galldarned assignment. Tuesday will be it's usual busy self, then somehow after yoga I have to get my design lab done. Over the weekend I'll have the design assignment to do, and my last thermo lab write up ever. I think that's all...other than the three huge projects that just keep hanging over my head. Maybe I'll do some project work over the weekend, likely not.

Frigger I hate when I get sidetracked. I was doing so well all weekend, but I've just managed to waste three hours tonight. I could have finished my thermo in that amount of time...damnit.

It's funny to look back and categorize the things you've experienced. I love to look forward to the things I have left to come, knowing I'm headed in a good direction... 

Feeling reminiscent.

FIRSTS.

First best friend: Ellen
First car: Bessie...may she be adopted by a good home.
First real kiss: Leighton
First break-up: Leighton
First self purchased album: Merril Bainbridge, I think...
First funeral: I definitely don't remember, one of Dad's uncles I believe.
First pets: MY first pet: Butterscotch Pudding...poor dead fluffy kitty.
First piercing/tattoo: My ears on my 12th birthday.
First credit card: Joint Visa with Mom.
First true love: Do I really want to answer that? Corey.
First enemy: That I remember: Holly's sister Micheala in elementary.
First big trip: Florida to visit Grammy-Jo and Grampy, but I don't remember it.
First music you remember hearing in your house: Mur's music; "this land is your land", "puff the magic dragon", etc. I think those were things she played just for me.

LASTS.

Last cigarette: New Years 2003, but I've never been a smoker.
Last car ride: Home from the grocery store last night with Sam.
Last kiss: This morning.
Last good cry: I don't remember...before thanksgiving. I've been content lately.
Last library book checked out: A cogeneration text for Joel.
Last movie seen: White Chicks last weekend.
Last beverage drank: Cafeteria apple juice with brunch.
Last food consumed: Sausage, egg, and french toast.
Last crush: B...
Last phone call: Brandon, trying to figure out where he was.
Last time showered: Just before brunch.
Last shoes worn: Mom's old brown clogs.
Last cd played: Tegan and Sara - if it was you.
Last item bought: Marie Claire with last night's groceries.
Last annoyance: Embarassing myself at the restaurant last night.
Last disappointment: Being a pushover.
Last time wanting to die: Never.
Last time scolded: After brunch for being embarassed last night.
Last shirt worn: The black turtle neck I'm wearing at the moment.

Nothing is more embarassing than crying when you know you shouldn't be, when you're trying not to, and you're pretending you aren't, but somehow tears are managing to make their way down your cheeks.

Well, yesterday was a lovely shitty day before it began. I feel gypped by the states; I tried to vote, they just didn't let me...then I failed my design midterm yesterday, then last night I had to stay up until about two working on crap. Now I'm sitting in a computer lab at school waiting for Ron to show up. He was supposed to meet me at ten, as you can see, it is now ten thirty.

Grr Bush. I need to go to sleep, but the west coast better bring good news during the night. Why do I care more about the US election than the Canadian one? Likely because I knew Canadians are smart enough to pick the lesser of two evils. Go Kerry Go!

Where are my f*cking vibrations notes?!? Everything from the first half of the semester seems to have disappeared and I need to do my assignment.

There's been this insane hunger brewing inside me, along with an extreme need for sleep. I don't understand. I've been eating good food all weekend, I think that may be what it is, all the good food is making me want more. As for sleep, I'm just deprived. I could do something about that, but that would involve forgetting about all the stress. Is it possible to do? Must be! I'm going to take a nap and get some supper.