Yeehaw, we are actually going to finish our design project on time! If any one reads this and is in Fredericton, come and see our design trade show in the Head Hall lobby tomorrow afternoon. Time to get rested so I can be bright eyed and bushy tailed :D

Gah! I'm sick!?! How did this happen? The weather outside is poopie, I'm sick, and I still am in a better mood that I have been in weeks. We're going to a big bike sale this morning, and it's raining outside. Spring is in the air...

Ah the "web". It really is a web. I miss being a so called kid. I think that was when I had time to do stupid things like spend hours wrapping myself up in the random writings of others. It's only the last couple of years that work and life have been as demanding. I think that particularly this year has been a killer. Am I just being nostalgic? Did I perhaps taunt myself last semster with my light load and artsy study subjects? I do love to "dick around" and do "nothing". Music, Drama, Excitement! Ah, the teenaged years. Perhaps I loved it because I was rarely the center of the drama and excitement and rather had the opportunity to watch and play the part I desired. Do we really grow up? Or perhaps does life pass in waves? I think that the latter is likely true. Our concentration cycles from work and study to "love and rockets". (Once that popped into my head I couldn't think of another analogy.)
I think I'm supposed to be cycling into another "love and rockets" period. I have the distinct urge to do something random for summer work, the distinct urge take off across the country, and the more superficial and silly urge to put my damn earings back in. I miss them. *Bitch slaP* I don't think my ears are up for going back to normal if I do that again. I'm torn. As of yet I am unemployed. A little bird tells me that although I am trying to try and get a "real" job my little urges are picking at my abilities.

Weeeeeeeee! Okay, so that lab report that was due on Monday...It's not done yet. I suck! I'm going to bed anyway though, because I don't want to jeopardize anything else. I need my sleep to be perky and worth dealing with. Guess what! I got four midterms back yesterday, and I've passed them all :D Kudos to me! Am I allowed to do that? I even got a 77% on my second design midterm. Listen, this is good, I thought I was screwed. No, I am not drunk. Although I have been slightly unenthusiastic lately I still have a little excitement left in me.

I just fell off the bank, into de-nile. I'm not upset, or bothered, or sad, or upset...I'm jusy denying. Denying the fact that I have work to do. Denying the fact that I have professors to face. Denying the fact that I'm likely going to go to bed before I do anything tonight.

I asked Brandon today if I could just be his secretary after all this is over; he laughed. I can't decide if he didn't believe me or if he was afraid to say no. Just the thought of that being an option makes me a great deal less afraid. I actually want to have that traditional option. I don't know if I'll change my mind in the future. Growing up I never knew what I wanted to do, but I was always convinced that I actually wanted to work at something "worthwhile". I think what's changed the most is my perception of what's worthwhile. Now there's so much I want to do all the time that I just don't have a minute left to do. Those are just the everyday things like cleaning, organizing, and decorating. There are so many other projects and activities that seem so far out of reach like sewing and being crafty, biking and camping, and the big time/cash consumer travelling. Another thing: kids. How the hell are we supposed to have time to have kids if it's so damn hard to have time to live? I want kids! I want to be domestic! I want to be cultural! I want to be active!

I always had a theory that I should have kids "young", or at least young for the patern that Mom and Mur took, and work hard because you can't vacation when you're young and you can't vacation when you have kids. Does my theory change? Or will I buck up and figure things out?

Am I overly forgiving? Sometimes I get the impression I'm being scolded for giving people the benifit of the doubt. I wish those who scolded me would realise they get the same treatment sometimes. There have been times when I've not been myself; I wouldn't want someone to decide that no one should have even the time of day for me because of things I've done at those times. "Life ain't easy." We have to respect the warm hearts of others, and understand that they have good intentions, perhaps not the same as our intentions, but good just the same.

My goodness. I'm starting to think it will never end! Do you see a patern developing here? Monday to Friday is like slavery, except theres no one beating me but myself. Although I should have finished my midterms by now, I have one left. Last Thursday we wrote a Fluids midterm, this Tuesday our Professor came to class and told us that he had read the midterms but didn't want to mark them. Apparently he thought that one or two of us may have passed. Next Tuesday we get to have a re-write: two of the three previous questions with the numbers changed. This is supposed to be the weekend. I have two lab reports to write (one due Monday and one due Tuesday) and a midterm to study for over the so called weekend. I spent the afternoon like a lab rat trying to get work done in semi-hiding. There was a pub crawl tonight which I had semi-indicated that I would attend. I half wanted to go, but couldn't bring myself to spend the $15 and give up the evening. Time for an alternate plan: dinner and a movie with B. I think I like plan b. Another thing, can anyone explain why I seem to have soft spot on my head? It's like I bruised my skull, but I don't appear to remember doing so.

What a week! Though, all in all, I have to say it wasn't a bad one, just a busy one...I got things done, I had some good times, no partying but just feeling better. I like the whole feeling better thing. Being down sucks. Now I have to work on getting more things done so I can keep swimming.

Just had another meeting. Will it ever end? I'm awake again, I feel like I'm half asleep through at least half the days. I begin to wonder if I can hack it to the end. I'll make it to the end of this year, and through next fall, but if my final year is two consecutive semesters like this one...it won't be pretty. Now I must get a lab write up done before B gets home from class and I want to go to bed.

*PUKE* Back at school...back to work...amazing how it can make you feel like shit. All I want to do right now is take a nap. All I should be doing right now is work, work, work. Still wanting to crawl in a hole. *PUKE*

March Break...supposed to be doing work. Can you tell?

You are the Low-Fidelity All-Star. You were born
with your cool, and it's totally natural. You
run the gamut from Hipster Supreme (only they
can ingest as much coffee as you) to the geeky
hipster (Mario Kart, anyone?).


What Kind of Hipster Are You?
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